Hunk du Jour: Roger Federer

It's the final of the men's tennis today, Massu v Fish. Who the hell?

I lost what tiny scrap of interest I had in Olympic tennis as soon as Roger Federer bowed out in the second round.

I meant to write about young Rog at the time, but I was distracted by hunky Greek divers. So let us give the World Number One the space he deserves.

Roger endeared himself to me in the 2003 Wimbledon final when he turned on the tears after defeating Mark Philipoussis. Please don't write to tell me I have some sort of crying fetish.

PROS:

• His name is Roger. ROGER! Plenty of scope for smutty jokes.
• Swiss. Easy access to quality chocolate.
• Swiss. Clean, punctual and precise.
  

CONS:

• Roger jokes liable to getting lost in translation
• Swiss. Clean, punctual and precise. Sometimes you want things dirty and confused.
  

RATING:
3.5 kalamata olives out of 5.