Who Wants To Be An Olympian?

Fair enough if you win. Just look at that gorgeous creature Kelly Holmes, she ran the most brilliant 800 metres last night and is quite rightly the toast of the town today. If you win gold then all is right with the world.

But if you cock it up, look out. Every heart in Britain broke on Sunday afternoon when Paula Radcliffe stopped running. Well, every heart in Britain that had nothing better to do than sit on their arse and watch a marathon for two and a bit hours. Ahem. I just wanted to jump in the telly and give her a hug and seventeen litres of Gatorade.

And then the BBC News came on, and that smug lady behind the desk reeled off the headlines, "Radcliffe fails in bid for gold."

Fails.

The press coverage that followed was largely sympathetic, but the annoying bit was the reams and reams of bloody analysis of Why Paula Failed. They blamed it on the course, the humidity, the sunshine, the boogie. They even put a gallery called Photos of Paula's Pain on the BBC.

Her tearful interview yesterday was handled pretty well. She was gently probed, So what happened Paula, talk us through that bit where you stopped running, what went wrong? It was just so sad to watch someone obviously so numb and devastated. Especially when she said "I know I've let you all down". Bloody hell. I think the interviewer wanted to give her a cuddle, too. Can you imagine having the expectation of a nation on your wee shoulders?

Meanwhile Down Under there's that whole palaver with Sally Robbins, the Chick That Stopped Rowing. Apparently she's done this kind of thing before, perhaps that's something the Olympic selectors should have considered beforehand. I think her teammates inital reaction was understandable, imagine all that pent up emotion at the time, I'd threaten to chuck her out too - it was the Olympic final! But what followed in the Australian media was shoddy. Graham articulates it very well over here and links to some dodgy pieces. While Robbins' teammates are now publically expressing their support, it makes me cringe that we're now getting the Prime Minister to chip in, along with Thorpey and Cathy Freeman. How much longer are we going to flog this dead canoe?

Don't you love this whole Olympic thing, when for two weeks every four years, everyone pretends to give a shit about running or rowing or K1234 kayaks? Everyone is an expert, everyone has an opinion from their lofty spot on the couch or behind the newsdesk. Everyone is so quick to curse or canonize our athletes. And then when it's all over, we'll go back to the football and cricket.

I know this stuff is all part of the territory for the athletes themselves, but sometimes I look at this circus and wonder who'd want to be an Olympian? Those medals don't even have chocolate inside em.